Hardcore haggling, £800 and a wheezy Hyundai Accent later, we got his preferred make, and my preferred functionality.

She's a V-Reg petrol shorty, fits hoardes of dogs in the back, and doesn't have an agonising fuel consumption.
Unfortunately, I'm here because:
-The heating doesn't work
-The speedo doesn't work
-The mileage has been at 83k for the last 12 months (see aforementioned speedo issue)
-The petrol guage doesn't work
-The engine fault light is always on (possibly due to all the above)
I'm sure there's more but I'm waiting for another complaint form to be submitted
So that's me, and him, and the Fronty. Now I'm off to find out how many times I have to hit it with a hammer...











